


No Offense

by Michevalier



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! VRAINS
Genre: Angst, Character Study, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, I love this one lol, M/M, Respectfulshipping, Revspec, Speculation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-26
Updated: 2018-04-26
Packaged: 2019-04-26 18:47:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14408274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Michevalier/pseuds/Michevalier
Summary: Most likely cursed at some point in his past, Kogami Ryoken struggled with his entire life being a total mess he often had no control over.Experienced over the course of all the years he spent by his master's side, Spectre somehow had ideas on how to deal with the said mess.





	No Offense

**Author's Note:**

> Something I have been thinking about since the end of Season 1. My bold attempt to try and figure out what was going on in Ryoken's head (if that's actually possible, lol :P)

The sun was already setting, marking at least half an hour of Kogami Ryoken sitting in front of a table as he absent-mindedly stared at old, quite rusty can.

"I've contacted others," the man slightly shuddered at voice and soft footsteps approaching him from behind. "It might take maximum a couple of days, but they'll try to reunite with us as soon as possible."

Ryoken blinked as Spectre walked past him and, having put a tray with two tea cups and cakes, sat on a chair across the table.

"U-uh, good," young Kogami mumbled barely audibly, his mind was still a bit foggy as he took the can away from the dining table of all places.

"May I ask, sir?" Spectre chuckled softly. "Why did you chose such a vesel instead of a traditional urn?"

It was an interesting question indeed.

To anyone watching it was a rather unusual decision to keep ashes of a cremated relative inside a can that years ago was meant to contain fruit sweetmeats.

Yes, cremated remains of Kogami Kiyoshi was actually kept within the can from sweetmeats.

"Hmm..." Ryoken furrowed his brows slightly, submerging into certain faraway reminiscences, the times he had almost forgotten, and yet that one day was brightly and colorfully etched inside his memories. "This might be ridiculously mundane to normal people, but... to me this can is a reminder about the only day that father spent solely with me. Ever since I remembered myself he had always been working, sometimes to the point where he was so busy that he barely looked at me. I felt lonely so often that, perhaps, eventually I turned somewhat desensitized to it... that's why my shock was so genuine and overwhelming when dad out of the blue took a day off and we went to amusement park."

Young Kogami paused as a sudden knot tightened around his lungs, impeding his speech.

"...I was six years old, and yet I remember every minute, every second of that day. Heh, maybe because father never suggested to repeat the experience anymore? After that day he kept working non-stop as usual, leaving me all alone once again. The only souvenir left from that time is a simple can from those tasty sweetmeats father bought me. Haha, it's so funny to think that before I used this one as a container for the prettiest sea shells I would find at the beach near Stardust Road and now this is basically an urn for dad's ashes."

Ryoken laughed, but his smile was a pure deceit, his voice was so shaky that it was impossible to hide tears already bubbling up in his throat.

But, before they had a chance to treacherously leak out, a plate with cake was gently pushed in the man's direction.

"It's a blueberry one," Spectre said in a quiet voice, not daring to look up at his master. "Just like you fancy."

Nervously tugging at his apron, the boy feverishly attempted to remember whether everything that was done by long-ago learnt by heart recipe was done as flawlessly as it could have been.

Yes, favorite dessert was the cheapest way to boost someone's mood and it could have easily been a dreadful insolence to try and deal with Ryo-sama's deeply mournful state like this, but...

"Thank you," it actually worked and gloomy clouds disappeared from Ryoken's face, a tiny smile beamed on his lips instead as he took a small fork and grabbed the first bite.

"It makes me so happy to hear that, Ryo-sa... ugh!"

"What is it?!" startled, Ryoken dropped his fork on the plate when Spectre grunted and, grimacing, gripped onto his temples.

"N-nothing scary..." the boy gave him a clumsy smile though his face was still contorted in painful expresion. "Just a slight headache."

"Slight?" Ryoken frowned as only now, in the tautingly beautiful and soft light of setting sun, he notised Spectre's face color. "You're goddamn pale!"

"Ah..." Spectre's giggle was beyond awkward and suprisingly childish. "I apologize, sir. Apparently, I'm yet not feeling well enough after... well, even if it wasn't very long but I still spent some time in coma."

A wave of self-hatred and self-disdain hit young Kogami.

How in the fucking world could he forgot something as important as that?

Coma is abnormal and highly risky state of human's consciousness. This is literally a borderline state between life and death. Even if a person manages to wake up from it, consequences for their health might be unpredictable.

And to think that Ryoken failed to notice Spectre's condition before and let him do his usual chores around the house, even though this summer villa was way smaller than their mansion back in Den City...

 _Nevertheless, unforgivable_.

"Ryo-sama? What are you doing?" confused, Spectre tilted his head as the man promptly reached for his phone and began dialing.

"Calling ambulance," Ryoken's own limbs turned numb from tension.

"Huh? W-wait, sir!" the boy immediately shook his head. "No need to!"

"But you're not healthy!"

"I'm okay!" the boy protested more adamantly. "It's not that bad, really! It's just a light tingling, that's all. Perhaps, it'll get better if I have some fresh air."

As soon as it was said, Ryoken placed his tea and cake back on the tray, the same he did with Spectre's snacks.

"Ryo-sama?" the boy blinked, watching his master going in balcony's direction and, about a minute later, returning and approaching him.

"Here," Ryoken gently offered him his hand. "Let's take our break there."

Light blue eyes went wider for a tiny moment, but then their owner humbly smiled and accepted the proposal.

"With pleasure."

They both then proceeded on the balcony. Spectre laid back in a recliner, but not before Ryoken plumped up a cushion and put it under the boy's nape.

"Thank you, sir," he smiled as his master gave him the tray with his tea and cake. "But I think you should drink yours before it gets cold."

"It's fine," Ryoken walked up to Spectre from behind and began carefully rubbing his temples.

The boy smiled delightfully as careful touches of soft fingertips perfectly repeated those of Kyoko-san. She was the one who would often give this little massage to Ryoken whenever he had a headache, so there was something especially nostalgic and cosy in this simple act. Almost like a tiny family tradition passed from "mother" to "son".

"From here on you're prohibited from doing house works," young Kogami said in a stern tone.

"There is nothing to worry abou..."

"You need rest," the boy was cut off, but his master's voice grew much softer. "You really do."

"Oh?" notes of concern rang out so clearly that Spectre simply could not object, so he chuckled softly. "Well then, with your permission, Ryo-sama."

Something clicked inside the man's head, his own thoughts as if began physically heating up, burning him from within his skull.

"I'm... I'm sorry," Ryoken barely coughed out these words as he could feel his trachea being tightly squeezed by red-hot chain.

"For what?" Spectre's genuinely tender tone was so unnerving that it only added pressure to the said chain and degrees to its killing heat.

"It's..." young Kogami paused to take a deep breath and clumsily gather his thoughts that were scattered in desperate attempts to get away from the deadly storm that was raging within his entire being. "It's about what happened... not so long ago."

"Aah, that?" Spectre's serene smile looked so wrong over the course of this conversation. "After all, had our plan succeed, the outcome would have remained the same."

"Did it hurt..?"

"Being comatose? Not at all. The only time my heart throbbed was when I realized how incompetent I was when I failed you and when Playmaker forced me to watch my mother dying... again."

Something sinister echoed inside Ryoken's mind, but he opened his mouth before he had fully registered it.

"You've fought well. It was I who failed by not keeping my promise to not let your battle go to waste."

"Oh?" something unexpectedly warm akin to a drop of sunlight within Spectre's heart made him widen his eyes. "You made such a promise, sir?"

"I even dare to say it was a vow..." Ryoken chuckled bitterly as his arms lifelessly dropped. "Regardless, I broke it miserably."

"Ryo-sama..."

The man shuddered as Spectre's pale hand reached and caught his own, as the boy's thumb gently caressed the red triangle mark on the back of his master's hand.

"It's alright," he reassured, not letting his comforting smile fade not even for a second. "Everything is alright."

Those words that were meant to be a magic spell, a healing incantation to soothe the pain in young Kogami's heart... instead, they felt like the sharpest blade slicing it into pieces.

"Are you sure?" invisible noose tightened around Ryoken's neck, obscuring his already pathetic, almost whining voice. "Are you okay with _all_ of my shit? Not to mention I'm also a... liar?"

This caught Spectre off guard, so he looked up, letting two pairs of blue eyes meet... and his own heart skipped a painful beat when he encountered those steel blue orbs.

"You know..." eerily disembodied voice and those soulless, doll-like eyes were as if somebody's who had their entire life force drained from them. "I did lie to you. Playmaker... I did know who he really was the entire time."

A sudden gust of wind violently blew out of nowhere, making all nearby trees howl akin to a wild beast in pain.

Spectre didn't say a word.

"I..." Ryoken's whole body turned numb as he cut open his soul and spilt its guts. "I didn't tell it dad either. It's... I didn't because there was simply no sense to dive into... _that_ past. It would have meant nothing to him, only distracted him from all the necessary preparations. Besides... yeah, nothing could have been changed. Why the unnecessary bother..?"

Young Kogami took a prolonged pause. 

He gulped, physically feeling how constricted was his throat, how hard was it to even breath, but... mindlessly gripping, pressing his fingertips onto Spectre's shoulders, he kept spilling it all out.

"As for you... The reason I told you lies..." his voice was so shaky as he used all his inner strength to keep his thoughts in tact as they strived to disperse, scatter around and into incoherent mess. "I'm... I..."

"So that what it was... I understand, Ryo-sama."

The usual sound of Spectre's voice unexpectedly felt like a massive blow to the back of Ryoken's head and the impact made his entire thinking process crash into the blue screen of death.

"Really, sir," every word said in the boy's perfectly calm tone was recognized by young Kogami's brain as a critical error. "You don't have to make up excuses or properly explain everything. It's... I apologize if I sound bold, but, having spent all those years by your side, watching you every day, I think I can understand a little the way you were thinking."

"Y-you do?" cold sweat appeared on Ryoken's forehead.

"I assume, yes," Spectre nodded with some abnormal confidence. "To tell you the truth, I actually noticed that something was going on inside your head. As if you were... greatly bothered by that same "something". Even if you did your best to keep your usual non-sentimental facade, in reality it was quite obvious that you struggled very hard to suppress whatever emotions were plaguing you."

Sipping his tea that was already much colder, the boy took his time before continuing.

"You may ask, if I suspected something, why didn't I ask you about it directly? Heh, but how could I? Who the hell I am to pry into the matters you did not wish to involve me in? How could I nag and demand the truth if it was your decision to keep me in the dark? Of course I had no right to invade your personal space. Staying in their own lane is the best trait of a person, in my opinion. If not telling was your wish, I had no way of disputing that."

"So..." with his brain still working at the slowest speed Ryoken asked. "You have no idea who Playmaker is offline?"

"No, sir. I wasn't sniffing around behind your back, especially not with all the duties I already had on my shoulders. Moreover," Spectre chuckled as he finished his drink and, having put the cup aside, looked up to meet his master's eyes once more as he smiled affectionately, "I'm sorry if I were to sound delusional, but I have an idea why else you might have chosen to keep it from me."

"Hmm?" young Kogami blinked, hoping to ignore the tingling pain that were steadily growing in his own temples now.

"Like I said, we have been together for almost ten years," Spectre laughed softly. "And your decision to keep me out of that business only shows how well you actually know me. Had I been aware of Playmaker's IRL identity, I would have definitely wanted to track him down and... well, that's when it could have become a problem."

Spectre tapped his fingers against one another as his previously tranquil expression turned sinisterly withdrawn.

"After all," his smile seemed "cemented" on his marble pale face, "I _am_ mentally unstable. I can be impulsive and atrociously violent. Had I known who Playmaker was in real life, things might have turned... nasty."

Spectre's low threatening chuckle unintentionally sent chills down Ryoken's spine.

"Of course," the boy kept his unnatural carefree smile "glued" on his lips, "Revolver-sama most likely would have told me not to take any drastic measures, and I, naturally, would have tried my best to uphold that order, but... You probably have very scarce idea about how _agonizing_ it would have been for me. Knowing that the guy was within my reach, but I could not touch him..."

His fists clenched, insane glimmer flashed in light blue eyes.

"...That damn itch called "murdering intent" would have driven me even more crazy than I already am."

Spectre took a moment to laugh at his own words while Ryoken kept ogling at him with huge eyes.

"You're..." he barely parted his lips as he could feel all blood in his body turning icy. "Do you really consider yourself this insane?"

"Consider?" smiling, Spectre swept a tear that appeared in the corner of his eye. "No, sir. I'm simply stating this as a fact. Anyway, it makes me really happy that you, knowing my issues so well, decided to spare me of the turmoil that was raging inside your own head. Thank you. You are so caring and thoughtful... though I'm still terribly sorry you had to endure such a burden on your own."

These words made Ryoken's limbs twitch in nervous convulsion.

 _Terribly sorry_.

 _Sorry_.

 _I'm_...

"Ryo-sama..?!" Spectre's own heart squeezed in pain when two large teardrops fall down onto his cheeks and literal rivers streamed down his master's beautiful face.

"How..." his body was uncontrollably shivering, his voice was shaky as he was dangerously close to hyperventilating and his face turned crimson because of overloaded nerves. "How the hell do you manage to find positive sides in all this madness?!"

Young Kogami gritted his teeth so hard that it hurt, thoughts were twirling inside his head akin to a raging whirlpool, his heart was pounding and drumming in his temples.

"How can you say that?" dizzy to the point of near-nausea, he sobbed quietly as his knees grew weak and the very fact he was still standing could pass for a miracle. "Don't you find me guilty..?"

 _Guilty_.

Guilty, guilty.

That was the word that had been etched within Kogami Kiyoshi's son as a cursed blaze.

That was Kogami Ryoken's very essence, the core of his being.

"I always am, right?" the man chuckled despite the bitterness that he literally felt on the tip of his tongue. "No matter what I do, no matter how hard I try... in the end I'm always at fault, huh?"

He laughed. 

So fake, so bitterly that Spectre's own heart sank.

"I'm guilty," soiled with tears and snot, his master's dark red face reminded that of a frightened infant who would cry so desperately as if everything in the world was there for the sole purpose of inflicting a deadly wound upon him. "Can't you see it..?! Everything we built up over the course of those years... Everything father wished for... All the sacrifices... The way I hurt you..."

He sniffed out loud and dreadful silence hovered heavily for the tiniest moment before those saliva stained lips parted again.

"I killed you, Spectre."

Four words broke a heart into tiniest shards, but the boy managed to gather and elaborately patch them back up within a mere of second.

"It was necessary, sir. No offense."

The two last words crashed into a heart, but young Kogami failed to even properly react as shards vanished into the darkness of his mind.

"Ryo-sama," but, before he could fall into the pit of despair, Spectre raised his arms to welcome his master into comforting embrace.

Weak in both body and mind, Ryoken let out a shaky tearful gasp and leant forward, tightly wrapping his arms around the boy's shoulders.

" _I'm not a good person!_ " cried Ryoken's arms as pitifully clingy embrace constricted Spectre's delicate neck.

" _Please, sir. Don't think I actually am,_ " replied Spectre's hands, one gently stroking Ryo-sama's soft snow white hair, other reassuringly holding onto his arms.

They both said nothing as warm raspberry colored twilight around them ceased to exist and the world fell into pitch black void with only blindingly white spotlight shining upon them, preventing them from drowning in this cold emptiness.

"Everything just went to fucking waste..." young Kogami whimpered, biting his lips to let them bleed. "I have no damn idea what are we gonna do now..!"

"Don't worry about it," Spectre turned his head to kiss the man's wet cheek. "We shall definitely think of a new strategy after others arrive and we pay last respects by scattering your father's ashes into the wind."

Ryoken couldn't hold back heart-wrenching sob, his bloody, steely-tasted lips ached so bad.

This utterly pathetic state was so familiar to him.

"Ryo-sama," Spectre nuzzled him. "Please, no matter what happens, remember: everything that I am is here to serve you. I love you and if you feel like crying in my presence... feel free to."

That was one of the many-many things Spectre was willing to provide his beloved master with. And this particular act was not anything new as they had already been through it in the past, when Ryoken lost his father for the first time. Spectre's chest, Spectre's shoulders were all drenched with tears, and yet he happily offered said body parts for his master to cling onto.

Yes, comforting, supporting and loving Ryo-sama were those things that made unloved and disdained by everyone "spectre" into a "human"... even if the circumstances had always been far from being considered "adequate".

_Because how many people were actually ready to perish over and over and over again for their lovers sake..?_

Spectre had no idea for he couldn't care less about all those other people.

Ryo-sama — that whom Spectre lived and died for.

Ryo-sama sobbed and clung onto, buried his face into the sweet flower-scented fair hair of the only person who had always been there to accept him the way he was.

 _The atrocious scumbag he was_.


End file.
